Last summer my brilliant friend Sarah and I were musing about a strange turn of phrase: “I’m in a place where I can’t date right now” or “I’m in a place where I can’t go for coffee.” Where is this place? Sometimes the phrase is framed in the negative, “I’m not in place where it makes sense for me to see you,” but if you’re not in one place, you must be in another, right? So still, where are you? Where is this place?
We imagine this place to be an awesome fantasy park, full of dudes throwing baseballs around, hanging out with puppies, maybe there’s a hot dog vendor. There are definitely no girls allowed in this place, but it’s awesome, and the guys are having a good time and the appeal is apparent. Still, being in this place prevents them from being in a place where they can go for coffee or go on dates or make out or whatever.
So when dude says “I’m not in a place where I can date right now” what they’re not saying out loud is “BECAUSE I’M AT THE SECRET BOY AND PUPPY PARK!”
So what the awesome girls do, is they bike down to the place, on their 3-speed Schwinns with good stuff in their baskets. And they lay out a blanket and set out a picnic full of baguettes and brie and mason jars full of gin and tonic. Now this picnic spot is open-access, and the boys can totally see it from dude and puppy park, and maybe they’ll be tempted by the smart girls who planned for the day with all this rad stuff that the dudes didn’t think of. All they have are hot dogs and baseballs and maybe they’ll start to think that if they got out of the place then they too could have fancy cheese and picnic cocktails.
Sometimes Sarah and I think that the Place is the Red Hook Ballfields, but the food is too good there for this to make total sense.
Anyhow, welcome to spring everyone. It’s bikes and picnic season!
Here are some unrelated photos of dudes and puppies.
(photo by buzzchap)
(photo by thebigblackmariah)
(photo by unfocused mike)
dory, this made my day.
ps. i shared it on google reader, and my friend richard then shared it with the comment “OH SHIT GUYS THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT THE SECRET PARK!”
Tell Richard I’m sorry!
you are awesome. love you!
Aw thanks!
oh, i love it!
I want to go to that place! The girl place - I don’t really care for puppies all that much. But Gin and Tonics are the best and everything tastes better out of mason jars. Girls are pretty great too, especially smart ones in dresses on bikes.
M.Schwartz, have you ever uttered the phrase “I’m not in a place where I can date right now?” No. That doesn’t seem like your style. You can have some gin and tonics anytime.